Let me tell you about Sophia. \u00a0 Sophia is a beautiful young\u00a0teen with long brown hair, a dark complexion, and a bright smile that will melt your heart if you are fortunate enough to catch it. \u00a0She is tall and seemingly mature for her age so she often attends the adult class after sweating it out in the youth class before it. \u00a0She is a skilled martial artist with a gentle soul. \u00a0Her soft-spoken nature allows her to blend into the background without being noticed should she choose to do so – a social ninja if you will.<\/p>\n
A little while ago, our Sensei commented\u00a0about what a model student Sophia is as she goes quietly about her business but with such confidence and skill. \u00a0The quote in the image above immediately jumped to mind. \u00a0I had read it once in the Bible … or was it on a Bazooka Gum wrapper? \u00a0I don’t remember. \u00a0 At any rate, my mind began a wandering pondering about the role of confidence in karate and the role karate can play in building confidence. \u00a0 Answering “what is confidence”, and “how, or even if, one can achieve it through studying the martial arts” are much deeper topics than they first appear.<\/p>\n
Until I started writing this post, one of my favorite karate posters involved a tiny bird perched on a katana (sword) that was attached to a samurai’s waist area. \u00a0The quote read “Never think that because I am peaceful that I have forgotten how to be violent.” \u00a0Way cool …\u00a0Definitely need to hang that one in my home dojo …\u00a0After cringing at the fact\u00a0that I had just written the term “way cool,” I also felt some embarrassment about thinking so highly of the poster. Neither confidence nor strength were being depicted. \u00a0The ugly faces of arrogance and insecurity lurked beneath a\u00a0false veil of nobility. \u00a0… Huh? … Let me offer a more concrete and obvious example.<\/p>\n
Centuries ago when I was just starting karate, I read a disturbing forum comment made by a former high ranking practitioner from\u00a0our Federation. \u00a0The\u00a0comment basically reflected the author’s feeling that one of the current United States Directors (at that time) was not\u00a0particularly skilled and would not last very long in a real fight. \u00a0I’ll never forget the wording and tone of my Sensei’s response as I conveyed how the forum commenter basically stated that studying under the referenced director was a waste of time and that the black belts who trained under the person commenting could easily kick the patooties of any and all the black belts who trained under the Director.<\/p>\n
My Sensei’s response … “Who cares?”<\/p>\n
Now, I know you weren\u2019t there, so let me clarify what my Sensei meant by \u201cwho cares.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, a student should seek training from a qualified instructor.\u00a0 Yes, an instructor should \u00a0care about being well-versed in the areas in which he or she provides instruction.\u00a0 Yes, all involved should care about possessing a common understanding of the goals of training and the methods to be used to achieve said goals.<\/p>\n
BUT \u2026 and this is a BIG BUT (insert joke here about those, like myself, who are gravitationally challenged).\u00a0 But, other than during a tournament or if you are a MMA professional, who cares if a student from one dojo can consistently beat a student from another.\u00a0 The standard of \u201cwho can beat up who\u201d is not one employed in our Federation. \u00a0\u00a0Expressing one\u2019s capacity to harm and control others is not a display of confidence. It reflects insecurity – the need for external validation of some twisted value \u2026\u00a0 Never think that because I am peaceful that I have forgotten how to be violent translates into yes, I am cool, calm, and collected, confident and peaceful.\u00a0 Go ahead and dare to challenge my self-grandiosity and see what happens.\u00a0 Arrogance \u2013 yep.\u00a0 Insecurity \u2013 you bet.\u00a0 Confidence \u2013 no.<\/p>\n
Confidence gained through the martial arts is:<\/p>\n
In a nutshell, confidence is possessing positive feelings of self-worth and self-efficacy, but feeling no need to prove that worthiness to others.<\/p>\n
As martial artists, we must actively rebut arguments that equate confidence with\u00a0perceptions of superiority relative to another\u2019s skill level or rank.\u00a0 Confidence most certainly should never be defined by threat potential, nor maintained by implied threat or ability to control another.<\/p>\n
And so we are brought back to the lovely and talented Sophia.\u00a0 I am so honored to have the opportunity to watch you grow as a martial artist and a human being.\u00a0\u00a0 I’ll never be able to balance as well as you my young friend.\u00a0 Perhaps someday you can teach me how you do it so well.\u00a0 In the meantime, know with certainty that I consider you, and our other dojo members, family.\u00a0 Whether you like the attention or not, you, and the others like you,\u00a0will continue to be watched … supported … guided … protected.\u00a0 I do hope, however,\u00a0that you will freely share all your emerging skills and gifts with the world.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0I am sorry that it has taken me a year from when\u00a0I first warned you it was coming to finish this blog post.\u00a0 I pray that you will never have to use the lethal skills we help you understand.\u00a0\u00a0 Regardless, it gives me such hope for our planet’s future to watch you and the\u00a0other young karateka benefit in body and spirit in the way my son and my family have.<\/p>\n
Indeed, in quietness and in confidence, we ALL possess strength.<\/p>\n
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Let me tell you about Sophia. \u00a0 Sophia is a beautiful young\u00a0teen with long brown hair, a dark complexion, and a bright smile that will melt your heart if you are fortunate enough to catch it. \u00a0She is tall and seemingly mature for her age so she often attends the adult class after sweating it … <\/p>\n